I am determined to have a successful 2022 and I want the same for you! 2021 was a revealing year for me. I experienced so many ups and downs that I didn’t know whether I was coming or going! I am about to share a few personal moments of mine from 2021 and a few key areas I found helped me get through the year.
The pandemic definitely threw a spanner in the works and turned so much on its head! This time last year I was in a full time job with a dream to be self employed by the following year. I had just completed a transformational life coaching scholarship and was ready to show the world that I am a great coach that can support life changing transformations through the magical process of life coaching!
You will be happy to know I left my full time job early December 2021 and I spent the remainder of 2021 focusing on how I want 2022 to be...for ME. But let me take you back to the beginning of 2021. True to the organised planner I am, I had planned to leave full time employment and begin part time employment with time to develop my business, all while being a full time mother to my 2 beautiful children.
I spent the first 3 months of the year focused on completing all targets I had set myself at work from 2019. There was a lot of change happening at work and I found myself being drawn away from developing my own dreams by investing time and energy into issues at work. Working from home began to look different to what I was used to and after almost a year since the introduction to lockdown, I was nowhere near adjusting to remote working.
I would be in back to back meetings, all whilst at home and I found that I would be seated at the desk immediately on return from dropping the children off to school and rush to pick the children up from school. Once returning from the school pick up, I would find myself back at the computer. This left me with the night time to work on my plans. Don’t forget, being the only adult in the house, I have to cook, clean, shop, spend time with my children, respond to personal emails, arrange school meetings and numerous consultancy meetings.This left me demotivated to look for jobs and I made me begin to question my worth.
I kid you not, I could hear a clock ticking in my head. I felt like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, I was always running late for something, or had the smallest amount of time to complete a personal task like go to the toilet. Aside from that, work was becoming less and less fulfilling. I was doing more admin that managerial tasks and I was not working face to face with clients. Everything had gone online and my day to day tasks were being completed in my house.
My norm was becoming too repetitive and was confined to my house, school playgrounds and my car. I felt low a lot of the time, I cried everyday into my pillow at night, I felt tired ALL of the time from not being able to sleep at night, I withdrew from friends and family and I was not eating properly. My children were displaying high emotions too. It was an extremely hard time for us. I had felt this way before a few times in my adult life so I knew immediately what I was experiencing was depression. Going through that dark time was truly revealing to me as at this point I knew the signs that I was going into depression and that my anxiety was subconsciously affecting my thoughts which ultimately affected my mood and behaviour. I had to make a conscious effort to pull myself out of the state I was getting into, not just for me but for my children.
I made the choice to take some much needed time off of work to rest, recalibrate, seek help and most importantly to reconnect with Simone. I did nothing for the first week. I focused on getting sleep, enough sleep at night but also taking naps during the day.
By June, I was getting into a new rhythm at home and work. I was more energetic, I begun working with some coaching clients that really inspired me. I was recommended for an advisory position for a Gambling Harm Project and after almost 2 months of applying and attending an interview, I was selected. Yay me! This gave me the boost I needed and I began job searching again. However, this time I was not sure what type of role I wanted.
This resulting in me applying for almost anything. I got a few interviews, chats with consultants but unfortunately I was not successful. I felt like I was running out of time as I was approaching the final quarter of the year. I ended up leaving my job to no job which at first was extremely scary. All I could think about was ‘Can you pay your bills, can you pay your telephone bills…’ In the words of Destiny’s Child. Now I definitely was running out of time as after the month was up I had no salary to depend on.
Still searching I could not find anything that I would be happy doing on a part time basis. It took sometime for me to be kind and understanding to myself but I realised that going into part time work would further distract me from developing my business and dedicated the necessary time needed to focus on building connections for the success of 2022. Combined with a few other elements I am equipped for a great 2022. I am confident in this as we are 10 days in to the year and the opportunities that have been presented to me have been incredible and has me asking myself, why didn’t I do this a long time ago.
Before the year ended I ran my 2nd Virtual Vision Board Workshop and this was open for anybody to join. I was able to sell tickets to brand new customers and after a successful workshop I had a couple of customers sign up to my 1:1 life coaching service. Just being able to see my goal achieved with added bonuses gave me a massive confidence boost in what I am doing. I knew I was on the right path and with the creation of my own vision board I felt empowered coming into 2022.
So, what did I apply or not apply strong enough for my success in 2021?
1. Take a break/timeout
What was the 1st thing that came into your mind when you read ‘Take a timeout’? Did you think of work, holiday, family, sleep or friends? We work so hard and hold everything down, go to sleep, wake up and repeat! When do we really get to rest? The weekend comes but the days are already planned out and before you blink its Sunday evening. Or maybe you dedicate so much time to work and never actually use your annual leave.
Taking a break can look as simple as switching off your phone at a certain time at night until the morning, going to a hotel for a night/weekend and enjoying the amenities it has to offer, to going on holiday for a short time alone or with your family, or even taking a week or 2 off of work. Think about what you do during the day and for the week. Do you have many moments where you are able to relax without having to constantly worry about time and other duties? If you do, then you definitely need to make space for relaxing. I don’t want to hear ‘I’ll relax when I’m dead’. Which kind nonsense be this? Live for now and understand without a break and true space to rest, you are going to continue to play catch up and add to your tiredness and all of this effects your energy.
My break was time off of work and being still for a few weeks. I was not sat in front of a computer, not calling clients and answering calls. Being able to spend unlimited time with my children. Not feeling like I was running out of time to do anything other than work. I could cook dinner during the day and play a board game with my children after school. I could nap in the afternoon. I could go for a walk, my options were endless. I returned back to work, still working remotely but with a new approach and attitude to working from home. I made it work for me
So please….take some time as early as this week to make moments to have a break.
2. Get professional support
Our community has endured centuries of trauma. In order to affect change, we have to make a stand and be the change we want to see and therapy is one of the keys to impacting change. To truly heal, we must not shy away from doing the hard work of looking within ourselves, revisiting the past and identifying how our trauma affects us today.
The first time I sought therapy was when my Grandfather passed away in 2015, the day before my daughters 1st birthday. My partner at the time and family didn’t understand why I needed a therapist and mocked my choice to seek professional help in understanding why my grandfathers death had affected me so deeply. Why do our grandparents keep their ailments from their family??? Something not right at all about that and I will leave that topic of conversation for another day.
This year I have an amazing life coach and alongside this will be seeking a therapist to undo some major conditioning I have deeply embedded within me. For the sake of my children future, this is so important!
Do not be afraid of doing the inner work. For those of you wondering, there is a network of Black qualified and experienced Therapists. If you would like to know where you can find them, drop a comment below.
3. Treat yourself
What do you enjoy doing? What makes you happy? Date yourself. Last year I didn’t commit enough time to treating myself. Going for lunch was difficult at times as the pandemic caused major closures to the hospitality sector, don’t get me started on purchasing clothes online with additional pandemic weight. Spas, hairdressers, nail shops, they were all closed. My treats then became self love routines.
I began meditating first thing in the morning and last thing at night. This helped me not only set my intention for the day but helped me clear my mind, allowing me to rest well. I tried out a few Black Owned skincare lines and settled with a lovely brand I Like It On Top. With the introduction to Black Pound Day in the UK I dedicated at least 1 shop on that day to a Black Owned Business. I mean, find somethi
ng that makes you happy and do it, within your budget. We deserve a treat from time to time and it makes us feel good.
4. Connect with loved ones
I am guilty of not upholding this. When I get in my low mood and feel depressed, I become a recluse. I literally go into my shell as if I were going into hibernation. I would turn my phone off or put it on silent and look at the phone as people were calling me. I just didn’t want to be around or speak to anyone as then I would have to confront my depression and that was too much to consider.
I had family and friends come over to my home to see what was wrong and attempt to lighten my spirits. It would work for a short while but as soon as they were gone, I would crawl back into my bed and go back into hibernation. It got to a point I had to tell myself, Simone, stop this now, you have 2 beautiful children that depend on you and you have done amazing this far. Yes, life gets hard and confusion kicks in but you can get through it. I realised I was shying away from facing the reality of leaving my workplace and beginning a new role whilst developing my own businesses. The scariest thing was not knowing exactly what I would do as a part time role and time was ‘running’ out.
Speaking to my mum and a few friends they very confidently said whatever I put my mind to I would achieve. They believed in me more than I believed in myself. I didn’t have any negative people telling me I could not achieve my dreams, instead I had a support system asking what could they do to help and constantly holding me accountable in my actions.
To sum it up, don’t isolate yourself from friends and family as often they hold the key to unlocking your mind to show you exactly how talented and capable you are to reach your goals. No matter how big or small.
Let me know what you think below. I want to hear about your experiences in 2021 and what great accomplishments you have planned for 2022. What were key moments of learning for you in 2021? Can you resonate with anything in this post?
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Peace, Love and Light
Simone 😊